Debt

I am standing, stock-still, at the starting gate, staring my five-year committed relationship right in the face. It sprawls lazily in front of me, taking up too much room, breathing loudly, hovering across my upcoming years, the years leading into my 30's.
I want the easy way out. I want to find a way. I want to beat it down and flip the couch over it and dash out the front door. I want to whittle away the minutes, hours, days. I want out of this in three years, no, two! Hell, I don't even want to begin, but I have. And I'm eyeing my path down this long stretch. Is it worth it?

But there's a Boon of opportunity just over the edge of these 5 years. It's golden on the other side.
I will gracefully, purposefully, find my way to it.
On the other side of that, someone is waiting for me. Someone will be there and they will annihilate my restraints. I will hungrily pull a deep and satisfying breath into my lungs and I will dive into my Divine Calling.
They won't let me in, but I worry every crack and crevice of this boundary. I know the blockade well. I love it. I sing to it. I nourish it. Because I know that at some point I am getting through. So I will know every inch of the outside of this wall, while I can, because I am getting through. Once I get to the other side, I've got things to do, and best not to dally here doing no things.

O, it is so worth it.